So this one is a little personal and while not the biggest thing in the world it’s something that really frustrates me as I don’t really understand it myself.
For many couple’s holding hands is something they do everyday without a second thought
Walking down the street, wandering back to the train station after a night out or walking along the beach on holiday. It’s romantic, its sweet, its protective and it makes you feel loved up which is always a good feeling.
Now take Rob and I. We have been together since May 2010, we got engaged in May 2011, we were Married (Civil partnered) in September 2012 and then “upgraded” to a full marriage (or paper exercise as the local council call it) in May 2015.
We’re just another couple, like all other couple’s but we never hold hands in public
Yep in the almost 6 years we have been together we have never held hands in public, well apart from a couple of nights out in Soho (the Gay mecca of London). Now I know holding hands sounds like something you worry about as a teenager with your first boyfriend or girlfriend but it really annoys me that we don’t hold hands. This isn’t about couples who don’t really hold hands in general this is about not feeling we should or could.
The main reason is Fear
Why, what do we have to Fear?
The Fear of drawing attention to ourselves, Fear of what people may say, Fear of being stared at but mostly Fear of the unknown.
There are a lot of what if’s involved, What if “this” or what if “that”
We have both been through the years of denying ourselves and feeling like we don’t deserve the same happiness as straight couples, but we’ve crossed that bridge and are now like any other couple in pretty much every way (Ok neither of us will be giving birth anytime soon) so why do we still feel we should deny ourselves a simple thing like holding hands?
I wont speak for Rob, but we mostly agree on the reasons why we don’t
In my honest opinion I don’t think many people would be bothered but there is still that part of my brain that worries like I’ve always worried about not being part of the norm or attracting the wrong kind of attention.
There is the question of where are we? is there small town mentality versus that big city feeling where everything is accepted
If we walked down Oxford street hand in hand, we wouldn’t raise much more than a few eyebrows but if we did the same down the main street of our home town of Wokingham would people be just as accepting? As for many other places there is no question we just wouldn’t dare but that’s just common sense
At the end of the day I hope we will be holding hands in public in the very near future!