The Commuter Games

After my pretty personal and serious topic in my last post I thought I’d go back to the funny and sometimes plain weird world of commuting

I’ve been a little selfish of late only sharing my train nemesis stories with my social media accounts but there are so many now I needed to share on my blog.

So for anyone who hasn’t read my blogs before, my commute to London Waterloo is just over an hour and I do the trip there and back 5 days a week. I get a mix of the earlyish train to the little bit later train ( I won’t say exactly which trains to protect my identity haha)

People are a funny things and commuters are sometimes (often) at their worst on public transport.

My ultimate train nemesis actually disappeared about 2 months ago, I did feel awful for a while as I thought he may have passed on but weirdly I saw him on the return journey just last week. I almost wanted to ask him where he had been?!

He was a nightmare, about 60 odd and determined as ever to get on the train in the same seat no matter who he needs to knock over.

But as one train nemesis moves on, on comes another or several as is the case at the moment.

Numero Uno at the moment is Taylor Swift (even nemesis needs a name) I call him this as he reminds me of the song “I knew you were trouble” by Taylor Swift 🙂

This guy is one of those people you just know is out for himself. He is quite new to the early morning train, he showed up one day and has been irritating since. Most nemesis’s are very precise in their ways, it’s an OCD thing and they do everything exactly the same everyday and they don’t care who gets in the way. This guy is the definition of this, so much so that in the first week he started catching the train he went to walk by me and knocked my bag off my shoulder. he didn’t even stop or turn around.

He was running late for the train I guess and he was desperate to get to the position on the platform. Well from that moment his card was marked with me.

Since then he has proven himself to be quite needy for a particular seat. Now we are talking about a 1/4 full train so there are loads of seats. This morning he pretty much ran down the aisle and got the seat, then looked around at everyone almost as if to say “look at me I got it”.

So basically from tomorrow I will be playing with him to a) annoy him by getting his seat and b) stand in his spot on the platform.

Now the next guy I can’t really say is a nemesis, he fits into the category of Why would you?? I noticed him about a month ago, I was sitting in a 2 seater and he sat next to me a few stops after mine. I noticed he was a faffler, you know when a dog walks around and around their dog bed trying to get the bed perfect and then they finally lie down. That’s a faffler. I’m always like just sit the F*** down already. Then as he sits down he pulls out the tray, then gets out a foil package and travel mug. *Insert massive eyerolls*

Hmmm food on the train, is this ok? well it depends, if drunk and after 9pm yeah anything goes but at peak times its mostly unpleasant for everyone but the person with food.

So whats in the foil you ask?

Only Toast with Peanut butter!

Yep that’s right, toast which you would hope is warm but looked stone cold with Peanut butter (personally that smell makes me feel sick) but most people like it I guess.

Yesterday morning he sat opposite me and instead of toast with peanut butter in foil, he had it in a zip lock plastic bag! Now seriously surely life is for living and I’m afraid this is just not right.

The thing I don’t understand is surely it takes more time to make toast at home and wrap it up than to take 5 minutes to eat it at home. And wrapped in plastic, imagine the sweating inside that bag, soggy bread no thanks

I guess he was out of foil but really. No, No,No

Our next villain is Mr F***** Brazen, who is a regular on the later train in the morning. He often appears only a minute before the train arrives and his mission in life appears to be getting on the train first. You know the yellow line you’re supposed to stand behind, well not this guy ….he practically stands on the tracks.

Last week I couldn’t help myself and said “Rude” out loud as we boarded the train, he looked at me and I knew he did. I look forward to seeing him next time 🙂

This guy is a tricky one to teach because he is most likely like this in everyday life, I can imagine he pushes in the line at Tesco’s and pretends he didn’t see you waiting in queue. Yes these ones don’t learn, they’re so used to it.

And lastly something more hilarious than nasty are the folks who sit in the same seat often same carriage everyday. It’s like stepping into Groundhog day everyday.

One of the reasons I try and mix it up, I always feel I will know I’ve hit a certain age when i start behaving like the old men commuters

I think thats enough for now, but the list goes on.

Would love to hear your commuter stories or what annoys you on public transport as I have plenty of material to share too

Thanks for reading!








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